[# My Morning Jacket: One Big Holiday]
[man] It onIy happens once a year, and then they die.
It's Iike a mating rituaI or something.
Isn't that romantic?
[chuckIes] Yeah. Yeah, it is.
- [woman] Chris! - Dude, what the fuck?
- [woman 2] That's so not cooI. - [woman 1] God! You scared me.
- Sorry. - What happened?
- Shit. They're gone. - You hit a deer or something?
- They're usuaIIy right here. - Sit down.
- The party's that way. - The party's this way.
- Danny. - Come on, it's prom night.
- [engine revving] - [tires screech]
Whoo!
[Danny] Yeah!
CIass of '03, kiss my ass!
Now Iook.
My God. They're so beautifuI.
Look, Iook. You can grab the Iight.
[screeching]
- Jesus! - It's not funny.
- You can turn the Iights back on. - Come on.
- They were so beautifuI. - ToId you, right?
- PIease. You're freaking me out. - There's more up there.
- Now! - Hang on.
- Turn on the goddamn Iights! - Chris...
AII right.
[alarm beeping]
[Chris] I wake up.
Turn off the alarm.
I look outside so that I know what to wear.
I take a shower...
...with soap.
And then I shave.
Sometimes I cry for no reason.
But I'm getting a handle on it.
[alarm beeping]
I wake up.
I get dressed.
I take my meds.
When Lewis is gone, I make the coffee, which can be tricky.
I eat breakfast, but I don't read the paper.
It confuses me, which makes me mad.
[alarm beeping]
I wake up.
I put on my coat and go to class.
I wake up.
[man] Ten more seconds.
We're just doing one day, OK? No big deaI.
And time.
It's OK, chief. It's not a test.
[honking]
[chiIdren Iaughing]
[beeping]
- Hey. - Hey.
That's a nice hug.
Want anything?
[man] Hi.
- What are you having? - Hot chocoIate.
- I'II have that. Thanks. - OK.
- Any probIems this week? - Nope.
Swearing? Crying?
- Sequencing or memory issues? - No.
Taking your meds?
- So aII's good. - Why? What's Lewis say?
You're the onIy one who can taIk about what's going on with you.
WeII, in that case, I'm great.
There you go.
- CarefuI. It's hot. - I know.
Have you spoken to Mr. TuttIe yet?
- No. I wiII. - When?
- You were a modeI before. - Chris...
I was just wondering how you go from being a modeI to being a case manager.
After my head injury I reaIized there were more peopIe in the worId than me.
Wanna go to a movie with me sometime?
- I don't think that's a good idea. - Come on. It's just a movie.
We shouId taIk about the women in your Iife.
- You mean besides you? - Yeah. Is there anybody?
Think you shouId do something about that?
I think about fucking you aII the time.
I don't think they heard that over by the door.
- I didn't mean it Iike that. I meant... - I know what you meant.
WouId you have said that before your injury?
So now you're gonna bring up the frontaI Iobe buIIshit?
Disinhibition. That might be getting in the way of your meeting someone.
Asking a stranger for sex isn't the best way to start a reIationship.
- Not a good one. - You're not a stranger.
- I have a reIationship with you. - I'm paid to work with you.
- Why are you here? - You teII me.
I know why I'm here.
I'm here to heIp you get what you want. What you reaIIy want.
But you've gotta know what that is first.
I just wanna be who I was.
[machine beeps]
[man] Hey, kid, your mom called to remind you about Thanksgiving.
I told her you had a hooker in your room
but that I'd be sure to pass on the message.
OK, so the menu for tonight is spaghetti amatriciana.
That's that pasta that's got the bacon in it that you like.
The tomatoes are on the counter, so open up the cans and put them in a pot.
GarIic press, asshoIe.
[screams]
Fuck!
[man 2] HeIIo, 1 -800-FIowers.
Ma'am, if I can send them to my own mother, anyone can send them to anybody.
And it just so happens to be our featured speciaI. Uh-huh.
Let's see. It's got roses and IiIies and snapdragons and fuji mums.
AustraIiums, which smeII awesome, unIike tuIips, which don't smeII at aII.
[Chris] Lewis, I can't find the motherfucking can opener!
They shouId Iast about a week or two. That's right.
Terrific. And your name?
Kathy. Is that with a C or a K?
K. Kathy with a K. That's a beautifuI name, Kathy.
Chris?
I don't smeII dinner.
Chris?
I'm sorry, Lewis.
- FeeI better? - Yeah, thanks.
Chop some Iettuce, cucumber, whatever eIse you might want for your saIad.
- Let's taIk about your afternoon. - We had to write again.
Oh, yeah? Let me guess. Topic A, ''Why am I aII fucked up?''
Or topic B, ''Living with being aII fucked up.''
Reggie had us Iist a rypicaI day, and I kept getting stuck on ''I wake up.''
- I couIdn't think of just a Iist. - WeII, don't think of it as a Iist.
Think of it as a story instead.
A story Iike what?
Like, you know, ''Once upon a time I woke up,
took a piss, beat off in the shower...''
- How is that gonna heIp me? - I don't know.
Stories are what heIp us make sense of the worId.
- I can't teII stories. - Use one you aIready know.
OK. How about War and fucking Peace?
That's a story. I'd start a IittIe simpIer, though.
How about Goldilocks and the Three fucking Bears?
Where's the cucumber?
- Come on. Let's hear it. - You want me to teII you Goldilocks?
Entertain me.
OK. Once upon a time, there was a IittIe girI named GoIdiIocks.
- And then? - And then...
I don't know, man. She got eaten by a woIf.
Fucking hit by a truck. This is stupid.
Start at the end. Can't teII a story if you don't know where it's going.
And Iose the woIf. That's Little Red Riding Hood.
The three bears find GoIdiIocks asIeep in their beds.
And then, um, she takes off.
ExactIy. AII right, now, that's the end. What happened before that?
Um, one goes, ''Someone's been sIeeping in my bed, and she's stiII there.''
And before that it was, ''Someone is sitting in my chair.''
Yeah, and then the bear kid's chair's aII jacked up.
Then it goes aII the way back to her waIking in the door.
- First she waIks in the forest. - You sequence just fine.
You just gotta start at the end, work backwards. Write that down.
- Hi, Mrs. Lange. - Hi, Chris.
- He's in a good mood. - Oh, OK.
- Good night. - Good night.
The harvest checks go out in a week or so.
That means we're going to be very busy the next few weeks.
Which is why I want you to write down
''bank extra cIean'' in your IittIe notebook.
Good night.
Mr. TuttIe?
I'd Iike to appIy to the executive training program in Wichita,
but before I can, I have to have worked 1 00 hours as a teIIer at the branch.
- Take that up with Mrs. Lange. - I have aIready.
We've been practicing. She gave me some money.
She what?
See?
You said you'd think about giving me some hours at a window.
You have to be abIe to keep track of the debits.
A good teIIer is primariIy a good counter.
A teIIer keeps track of money aII day Iong,
taking care to keep the corners on biIIs facing the same way.
At the end...
Um... The end...
Ends...
At the end... At the end of the day,
the teIIer baIances the cash against the payout tickets.
A good teIIer can go for years without being out of baIance.
Mrs. Lange has never been out of baIance yet.
But the reaI key is a friendIy personaIiry.
The motto of a teIIer is, ''Be friendIy and accurate.''
- ''But mostIy be accurate.'' - Very good, Chris.
Mrs. Lange aIso says the women's bathroom fixture needs a new buIb.
Good night.
[announcer] He'll scoop the puck into the right corner.
Hartigan will center it to the far boards.
Defense pushed it back to the line to Lidstrom into the corner for Lang.
Lang floats it back to Lidstrom, skating on the blue line with it.
Now fires a rising shot. Kicked aside. But a goal pass by Pascal Leclaire.
[raises volume] Trevor Letowski carries it out to center ice.
A glove save. Now the puck bounces away from Lidstrom out to center.
In pursuit Manny Malhotra.
Detroit played better in the first period.
Malhotra is all over Williams,
forcing the Red Wings to have a power play in their own zone.
Here comes Lidstrom over the Columbus line.
Drop pass. Samuelson with a shot.
Passed to Danny Stevens. Stevens back to Pratt.
Lidstrom right down the center.
Fakes it Ieft.
Pratt fakes a shot on the right and dekes out the goaIie.
- [horn bIaring] - [crowd cheering]
I think Mark...
Game is tied...
And there's Holmstrom, Johnny-on-the-spot, to fire it in...
You cannot be serious.
That is pathetic.
That's Chris Pratt.
Put that fucking thing out.
[# 78 Saab: No Illusions]
- Can I get you something? - Yeah, an O'DouI's, pIease.
Yep.
This Iady caIIs me over and she's, Iike, ''How many Dorothys Iive in Kansas?''
Hey.
Can you break a fifty? Like, tens and fives?
Damn. And I thought I was good-Iooking.
- You having a good time? - So far.
WeII, that's aII that matters, right?
Enjoy yourseIf.
Hey, Chris Pratt, right?
Gary Spargo. We know each other.
I was a coupIe of years ahead in your sister's cIass.
We went out a coupIe of times, but never took.
How's she doing, anyway? AIison, right?
Yeah, she's good, man. She's married. She has a baby.
- Just my Iuck. - [phone ringing]
- WeII, it was nice seeing you, anyway. - Yeah.
- You say heIIo to AIison for me. - OK.
- Yeah. Where are you? - It's 2.50, chief.
Ten, twenry, thirty, five, forty...
You were supposed to be here an hour ago.
- Sorry, how much? - 2.50.
That's not my probIem. I guess I'II see you Iater. OK, bye.
- Do you need any change with that? - No, keep it.
- Thanks, chief. - Whoa. Excuse me, uh... T.J.
You must be one heII of a bartender, $1 7 tip for a $3 beer.
- What can I say? - You can say, ''It's on the house.''
- It's not a probIem. - No, no, no, no.
He insists. Don't you, chief?
Yeah. Whatever.
Prick. Shit, I apoIogize for that guy, Chris.
[Chris] No, it's OK.
You know, I find myseIf apoIogizing for peopIe pretty often these days.
I heard something happened to you. So, what was it? MotorcycIe accident?
If you don't mind me asking. I'm just curious.
It was a car accident. I was driving at night
and I hit a combine that was staIIed in the middIe of the road, oId Route 24.
WeII, how does a thing Iike that happen?
- I had the Iights off. - ReaIIy?
They say I got thrown 90 feet.
Wait, I'm sorry. ''They'' say?
WeII, no, I can't remember any of it.
WeII, thank God for that.
I remember, uh, right before it and right after it
and one moment where I thought the medevac was gonna Iand on top of me.
Anybody die?
Yeah, two friends.
- You do any time? - No.
But you're doing your time right now, though, right?
So, you drink near beer and what eIse?
It's Iike I can pick up a gIass with this hand,
can't aIways drink from it.
I faII asIeep a Iot, just nod off in the middIe of things.
- Yeah, me, too. - [chuckIes] Oh, yeah?
Yeah. WeII, I caII tomatoes ''Iemons.'' I know that's wrong.
And sometimes certain coIors have certain smeIIs.
- That's weird. - [inhaIer hisses]
WeII, we aII got our probIems, right?
There's an expression: ''God cIoses a door, but he opens a window.''
Or he cIoses the window and he opens the door.
My point is...
...sometimes something good comes from an accident, you know?
Sometimes you're out there and you...
Man, she reaIIy wears that sweater, doesn't she?
Fuck.
Anyway, it was a pIeasure, Chris.
- Yeah. - Take it easy.
[Chris] Once upon a time, I woke up.
I took a shower with soap.
I had breakfast. I didn't read the paper.
I put on my coat.
I had Thanksgiving dinner with my family.
[Chris] Coming around to you.
- Got your key? - Yeah, I got my key.
- I smeII money. - Shut up.
Barb, did you make any of this?
- No, I'm afraid not. - You used the thin ones, right?
- Not the thick nighttime ones? - Yes, AIison, I used the thin ones.
You Iook great. Lots of coIor in your cheeks.
- Not sure about this coat, though. - Where's that from? Tenth grade?
- WeII, I Iike this coat. - I bumped into MariIyn Hess Iast week.
She had CharIotte with her. Wasn't she in your cIass?
She was in my cIass. Conrad was in Chris's.
CharIotte said for you to caII her. She Iooks fantastic.
- Lost quite a bit of weight. - I Iove mushrooms.
What do you caII a mushroom who goes into the bar, buys everybody a drink?
- I don't know. What? - A fungi.
This is aII very good. The reIish in particuIar is nice.
- Not too tart, not too sweet. - It was my grandmother's recipe.
Any other oId famiIy recipes? We can use them for the restaurant.
- Restaurant? - Chris didn't teII you?
No. He didn't teII us.
What exactIy wouId you do at a restaurant, Chris?
- WeII, I'd heIp Lewis. - We found a space, but it needs work.
- [Barbara] Where? - WaverIy, near OverIand.
- Where is that? - Southside. It's a gas station.
A gas station? ReaIIy?
We'd keep the door open during summer for an aI fresco kind of thing.
If it's a gas station, you'd have to do some work...
We're just fucking taIking about it, OK?
Excuse me.
- There are some steps. - Oh.
WeII, then, you better carry me.
ReaIIy?
- [knock on door] - Chris?
- Hey, you. - Hey.
We gotta go. If I don't get her down soon, she'II never sIeep.
You shouId come by sometime. We'II hang out.
And Dad's waiting down in the war room.
Hey, uh, you remember a Gary Spargo?
- Who? - Gary Spargo.
He said he went out with you a coupIe of times.
WeII, he probabIy did.
- You Iook good. It's great to see you. - Thanks.
AIison, right?
Say goodbye to UncIe Chris. AII right, we'II see you Iater.
In the Iast three years, we opened two Jaguar stores and one Land Rover store.
So we're aII about Ford now. But a PorschelAudi franchise, that'd be tight.
What do you do for the company, Cameron?
As IittIe as possibIe.
Boy, you got me on the run here.
- There's a comforting sound. - This new?
It was a gift from CharIie. WhitehaII, my partner.
Yeah, I know who CharIie WhitehaII is.
- It's a nice gun. - It's your move.
Check, by the way.
What'd you do?
- Sure you wanna do that? - I think so.
You're gonna Iose your queen, right?
- ReaIIy? - Yeah, I'm gonna take her.
Check. In fact, checkmate.
- I didn't see that. - I got Iucky.
- Good game, Dad. - We got time for another quick one.
I think we shouId go. Lewis, wanna go?
WouId you rather I Iet you win?
Dad, I can't pIay chess anymore.
I'm sorry.
- WeII, it's good seeing you. - Good seeing you.
Happy Thanksgiving, son.
Can I say something? You won't get upset?
[Chris] What?
I don't think you shouId go home anymore.
[knocking]
- Jesus, Ted, you snuck up on me. - I'm supposed to sneak up on you.
They didn't have no more jeIIies, so I got you a custard.
- Thanks. You got a coId, Ted? - [sneezes]
No wonder I don't got pneumonia, given the house is coId enough to hang meat.
How come?
Sherry won't have the heat on after nine.
Because of the baby.
We don't refer to it as ''the baby'' no more.
- We don't? - Sherry caIIs it ''the IittIe engine.''
- It makes her hot aII the time. - Right.
Doctor toId her she's got three times more bIood in her
and that's why she can't cooI off.
Kid's not even born yet, I'm aIready awake aII night.
You're Iucky you don't ever have to worry about that stuff.
I gotta go. Remember, Iock the back door.
I wiII.
- You Ieft your door open again. - Oh, shit.
[# BIack RebeI MotorcycIe CIub: Shuffle Your Feet]
I thought I was good-Iooking.
- Excuse me? - I thought I was good-Iooking.
WeII, maybe you were.
- Chris Pratt? - Yeah.
My friend wouId Iike to buy you a drink.
I used to dance at Wet WiIIy's. You know that pIace in Raytown?
It got cIosed down on account of debts,
so right now I'm working with Maura at the chamber of commerce.
I'm answering phones. What do you do?
Oh, I, um...
- Sorry, I forgot your name. - Again?
It's LuvIee. L-U-V-L-E-E.
LuvIee.
Now you'II remember me.
Anything about Kansas Ciry, I can teII you.
- Yeah? Like what? - Did you know TefIon was invented here?
And Eskimo Pies. And McDonaId's Happy MeaIs.
And ''MeIts in your mouth, not in your hands,'' M&M candy coating.
You guys are so interesting.
Why don't we go somewhere quiet where we can hear what you two have to say?
- Why don't we do that? - You wanna come?
[soft music pIaying]
[moaning]
That's better. I've seen you pIay hockey, you know.
Me and AIice Watts used to watch you pIay aII the time.
I don't remember you.
I saw you pIay the night you beat the Raytown Cougars
for the state championships.
It was your birthday. Do you remember that?
- Yeah. Yeah, that was a good game. - Yeah, it was.
You got your second five-minute major right at the end of the game.
Next game you wouId have sat on the bench.
But it was the Iast game of the season, and you knew that it didn't matter.
So what do you do? You go and sIash the heII out of some shitty pIayer
at the end of a game you aIready won.
And, stiII, the whoIe crowd sings Happy Birthday to you.
Me and AIice Watts were, Iike, ''Damn, it must be pretty cooI to be Chris Pratt.''
Don't mind me.
And then I heard what happened to you and Nina and Danny and...
What was the name of the pretty girI?
- KeIIy. - KeIIy, that's right.
And everyone was taIking about how you,
you know, you woke up this other guy.
I remember thinking, ''God, we're the same age.
That couId be me that it happened to.''
Anyways...
- Are you OK? - I wanna see you naked.
- Shit. I'm sorry. - No, don't be. I'm fIattered.
- Oh, you got coId hands. - Sorry. [chuckIes]
I see something stiII works.
- You don't have to do this. - I know. I want to.
[Gary] How does a titan Iike Robert Pratt feeI about you Iiving here?
[Chris] He's never seen it.
ReaIIy?
Tomorrow a bunch of us are hanging at this farm we're borrowing,
ceIebrate Thanksgiving dinner, if you wanna come.
But wasn't that Iast week?
Yeah, weII, we're just getting around to it.
LuvIee wrote the address down in your notebook.
Hey, you know something?
You're better than this.
A Iot better.
- Chris? - Yeah.
- Doc Watson's got nothing on me, man. - WeII, good night.
You get stoned? With somebody wearing perfume?
- No. - No, no, stop. Don't move.
- Were you with a Iady tonight? - [sighs]
Son of a bitch, you got Iaid.
- I don't reaIIy wanna taIk about it. - Oh, but you are, my friend, you are.
Come here.
So, teII me... did you get a hummer?
- Jesus, Lewis. - AII right. At Ieast teII me her name.
- LuvIee something. - LoveIy? That's a name?
Yes. L-U-V-L-E-E.
That's a new one. So what's this LuvIee something Iook Iike, huh?
She's nice.
Here I am sitting at home aIone every night
whiIe you're out getting bIown and God knows what eIse by LuvIee something,
who probabIy has a friend.
- Lemons. That's what it is. - What what is?
- That's her Iast name. - LuvIee Lemons? That's her name?
WeII, it's her stage name. She's a performer. Or she was.
And by stage, I'm assuming you mean the kind with a poIe?
- What do you mean? - Let's move on.
- Where'd you meet her? - Gary introduced me to her.
- Who's Gary? Gary who? - Gary Spargo.
- Do I know this guy? - I don't think so.
- I just met him down at the IocaI. - Huh.
- WeII, I better get some sIeep. - Yeah. Yeah, you better.
You dog.
Gary Spargo.
[groaning]
- [sighs] - [urinating]
Whoa! You scared me.
- I'm Chris. - Yeah, yeah. Aaron Cork.
Got a good grip. Come on in. We've been waiting on you.
- Is turkey supposed to be rare? - I don't think so.
I totaIIy undercooked it. I've gotta put it back in. You have to heIp me.
Hey. You made it.
TortiIIa saIad, pierogies, egg roIIs. We made too much food.
- There's nine of us. - There's seven. You, me, Cork, Marty...
Never mind.
I'm the chef. Go on. They're waiting for you.
You smoke a joint to reIax, but you won't Iet me rub your shouIders.
I wiII never Iet you touch me.
You're not comfortabIe with your sexuaIiry.
Don't move.
Everybody, this is Chris ''SIap Shot'' Pratt.
Hey, Chris. How you doing?
- Here's the Corker. Avoid that guy. - Too Iate. We're oId paIs.
This is Marty. Marty is the guy you wanna teach you how to surf.
- He's the onIy boy in Kansas knows how. - I went to Framington, man.
We pIayed you guys in Division A.
- I didn't reaIIy do sports. - Gare, we gotta jam.
Too bad.
How many of these things you gonna need?
- I'm gonna take aII of them. Thanks. - CooI.
Good seeing you guys.
Marty, watch out. It's heavy.
- Hey, sit down. Sit down. - This your farm?
My UncIe Bone found it and kind of negotiated with the owner.
- Wanna try some wine? - I can't.
Come on. Take it.
- Marty? - Yes.
Nice. One for me.
And toast.
How about, uh... Fuck it. FamiIy, right?
- Hey, yeah. Cheers, man. - FamiIy's good.
FamiIy.
- WeIcome. - Who are aII these peopIe?
- Whose pIace is this? - Friend of a friend. Bone?
- Dinner is served. - It's about time.
- Can we get some water? - Food.
- Why the heII we eating burritos? - Get your own water.
- Want some gravy? - What's wrong?
Nothing. I just remembered why I came here.
- [chattering] - [music pIaying]
I'm just saying...
[Gary] Check this out.
[Maura] ...some oId farmhouse.
I don't know where it is.
No, that's water.
Mommy's doing dishes.
Mommy's cIeaning up after a bunch of pigs.
I'II see you in three weeks.
TeII Grandma to put it on the caIendar this time. I Iove you, too.
[gunfire on TV]
Hey, Gare.
Hey, man. Why don't you come on down?
CouIdn't sIeep, huh?
WeII, that's the thing about good wine. Doesn't make you sIeepy.
But, then, it doesn't give you a hangover either, so...
UnIess your brain's aII fucked up.
- You pIayed for Framington, right? - No, man.
Let me just cIean up some of this mess.
[groans]
What's this?
This? This is a project I've been working on for very many months.
ProbabIy not ready for anyone to see yet, but such is Iife.
- These aII banks? - Mm-hmm. That's right, Chris.
They're aII banks.
Why are you taking pictures of banks?
- Because I'm gonna rob one of them. - [both chuckIing]
WeII, we're gonna rob one of them.
Some nice IittIe farm bank in the ass-end of nowhere
where they get aII that winter harvest cash.
You know what I'm taIking about?
- You wanna steaI from farmers? - No, Chris.
I'm gonna steaI from the corporate fuckers who rape the farmers.
Agribusiness fat cats who give the American farmer
enough to grow his crop but not enough to Iive.
- Fucking tragedy is what it is. - TotaIIy tragic.
So we gotta find a bank in the middIe of a Iot of big farms
where one time a year, i.e., right now,
they're gonna fiII that vauIt with cash
so that Farmer John can pay Juan or Ramon to pick his crops.
There's this quiet, empry pIace
with no securiry to speak of,
and this quiet, empry pIace no one reaIIy knows exists.
I mean, isn't that why you drive an hour and a haIf each way to work there?
What is this?
Chris, I wiII totaIIy understand if you feeI betrayed, but I need your heIp.
You want me to rob the bank.
- I can't do that. - Why not, huh? Because it's wrong?
I don't know, but if I had... If I had my Iife ripped out from underneath me
the way you had your Iife ripped out from underneath you,
I don't think I'd give even haIf a rat's ass about what was right or wrong.
I'd just fucking want my oId Iife back, you know?
Look at this shit. Mopping fIoors, man.
Don't you want your oId Iife back?
- You can't give that to me. - No, I can't.
But I can give you something maybe even better.
I can give you the power.
- Power? - Mm-hmm.
Power.
Why don't you sit down? I'II teII you about it.
PIease?
My oId man used to say to me, probabIy the onIy thing we ever reaIIy agreed on,
whoever has the money has the power.
You might wanna jot that down in your book.
It's something you're gonna need to remember.
Do you have the power right now in your Iife, Chris? Huh?
- Do you? - I don't know.
How many janitors you know have any kind of power to speak of?
Here's a question.
Who pays for your Iife?
You go to the ATM, what, two, three times a week?
- Three. - Three times. Wow.
Where does that money come from? You drive a car.
Who pays for that? Who pays for the insurance?
Given your track history, it must be more than the rent,
which gets paid on the first of every month by who?
- Daddy. - Bingo.
Your oId man, he'II pay money to take care of you,
but he won't give you enough money to take care of yourseIf. Why not?
He doesn't think that you can, so he just doIes out enough money
so that you have to depend on him.
You're as stuck as the farmers, Chris. You star in your own tragedy.
My father wouId give me money if I asked.
Hey, hey, hey. That's... That's buIIshit.
I'm sorry. Let's caII him up.
CaII him up, ask him.
Ask him for ten grand and see what he says.
HeII, ask him for one grand and see what he says.
TeII him you wanna start a business.
You can't.
I know. I mean, you know, I went to prison for my sins, Chris,
so I don't have to carry them around with me.
But you, your oId man picked up the tab,
so now you drive out OId Farm Road 24 once a week
to the spot just to remind yourseIf, keep it fresh in your head,
just what a piece of shit you think you are.
- I thought we were friends. - We are friends.
Outside of some oId bIind guy dressed Iike Larry FIynt,
I'm the best friend you got right now, and I mean that.
You were Chris Pratt. I was three years ahead of you and I Iooked up to you.
You were fucking beautifuI.
But then...
WeII, now... I'm gonna heIp you.
- How? - I'II say it again.
Maybe you'II write it down this time.
Whoever has the money has the power.
Chris? Where are you going? Are you Ieaving?
Come on, sweetie.
[Lewis] We figure it's 30,000 to convert to a restaurant,
another ten or so to get us up on our feet, pIus or minus a few thousand.
Show him the menu, kid.
Is there a separate dinner menu?
We're just gonna be open for breakfast and Iunch.
- That way we have our nights free. - I see.
OK, we have the Abbie, the Huey.
- Who are these sandwiches named after? - PeopIe I've admired.
- We couId name one after you. - I don't think that's necessary.
- Sure, sure. Why not? - WeII, that's very kind, but...
What's your first name?
- Reuben. - What's your middIe name?
- Lewis... - 30,000 seems a IittIe Iow, boys.
- This pIace is a gas station now? - Yeah, but you make that work for you.
Keep the gas station theme, maybe you park a VW bus at one of the pumps,
paint the name of the pIace on the side.
Yeah, the name of the pIace. Uh... Yes. Lew's...
Lew's Your Lunch. See, I'm Lewis, Lew.
The pIace is just gonna be open for breakfast and...
It's very cIever.
- But we don't have to caII it that. - Yeah, I got Iots of ideas.
Aside from that Reuben hiccup, I think it went pretty weII.
I've got a good feeIing about it. Our man Hearn was jazzed.
I don't know if you noticed. I think he was pretty excited, don't you think?
Chris?
- Chris? - I'm right here, Lewis.
- I thought you Ieft me. - I didn't Ieave you.
Come on. I'II drive you back to work.
[Reggie] Who can teII me our three organizationaI strategies?
- RituaI. - [writing on chaIkboard]
Pattern.
And... repetition.
- [Chris] Shit. - Very good.
Hey.
If you ever wanna stay Iate, we couId practice counting or...
TechnicaIIy, I don't know that I'm pussy-whipped per se,
- but she's got me on a goddamned pager. - [beeps]
In case she breaks water or whatever whiIe I'm on my shift.
I don't know. Oh!
Hey, missed a spot.
Right there.
See?
[phone ringing]
- [Robert] Hello. - [Chris] Dad?
- Chris? What time is it? - I don't know.
- Is he aII right? - TeII her I'm aII right.
- He's fine. You all right? You sure? - Yeah, Dad, I'm fine.
I just wanted to know if I couId borrow $1 0,000.
- What? - I need to borrow $1 0,000.
- What for? - I just need it.
- It's three o'cIock in the morning... - OK, then, $ 1,000.
- CouId I borrow $1 ,000? - Is this for that stupid restaurant?
- No. - Are you in some kind of troubIe?
No, Dad, I'm not in troubIe. I just wanted to caII you...
Because if you are, I wanna help out in any way I can.
I just think you shouId come over and we shouId taIk about it face to face.
I have an idea. I wanted to start a business.
With $1 ,000? ExactIy what sort of business couId you start with $1 ,000?
WeII, I was thinking I couId start a skate-sharpening business.
You know, over at the... over at the rink by the Iibrary.
And then Iater I couId even seII hockey equipment.
- Look, Chris... - You're saying no.
- Yes. - Did you say yes?
- No, you can't have the goddamn money. - Robert.
- Look, Chris... - Dad, that's fine. I understand.
- Hey, buddy, can I ask you a question? - Go ahead.
- Do you wanna come home? - What?
You don't have to be afraid to ask. The door is aIways open for you here.
I gotta go, Dad.
[Chris] Once upon a time, I woke up.
I took a shower with soap.
I skipped breakfast so that I could follow an armored car.
I cased the Noel Town bank.
I rented an acetylene tank for the cutting torch.
[tires screeching]
Cork and I went car shopping.
And then I took pictures of the vault.
[knocking]
- Ted. - Freezing out there.
- What are you taking pictures of? - Nothing.
I just, uh...
I just wanted to show my parents where I work, that's aII.
Give me the camera, Chris.
Go stand over there.
I'm sure your parents wouId Iike to see you in the picture.
I know mine wouId.
My dad one time took a video of me giving this guy a speeding ticket.
[chuckIes] That's my dad.
Why don't you put your hand on the handIe there? Yeah.
Yeah, that's great, that's great. Say ''Go Mustangs!''
VauIt Iooks Iike an antique Hogue and Langehammer.
The Iock's a 1 922 Moss HamiIton.
DuaI custody with a three-movement S&G time Iock,
another S&G mounted verticaIIy down, whatever that means.
I say we just cut through the side.
VauIt's so oId, it's not gonna be wired, probabIy got bIind spots.
Jackhammer the cement, torch the skin.
Town's so dead no one's gonna hear anything.
- Cameras? - I'm working on that.
Chris, my number's in there. CaII the minute the money comes.
- We go in there Friday. - That's my job? Just to caII you?
No. On the night, your job wiII be to watch out for Depury Doughnut.
He drives by, never at the same time, so there's no way to pIan for him.
- That's it? - That's it? Dude, that's a Iot.
That's the most important job of aII. You're the Iookout.
Hi. I'd Iike to exchange this, pIease.
- Yeah, this is good. - ExceIIent choice, sir.
- [LuvIee Iaughs] - [Chris] Shh!
You're gonna wake up Lewis.
[LuvIee] I've never seen a bIind person up cIose before.
- What...? - Oh, that.
They did that so I couId breathe. I was in a coma for ten days.
Ouch.
Do you remember?
I just remember I opened my eyes,
I saw my dad sitting there, and I go, ''I Iove you, Boomer.''
And then he starts crying.
- You caII your dad Boomer? - No, that's the name of my first dog.
Yeah. He was a hunting dog. He was a Chesapeake Bay retriever.
The onIy one in the worId that couIdn't swim.
- You used to shoot birds? - Ducks, geese, and deer.
With my dad and my idiot brother.
- And you Iiked doing that? - No. But I was good at it.
What a surprise.
I'm gonna kiss it better.
LuvIee, I presume. I recognize the perfume.
Can I offer you some pie? It's not homemade, but it's decent.
No, thank you.
ProbabIy gotta watch your figure, your Iine of work.
Nice name, by the way. LuvIee Lemons.
I don't dance anymore. I was never very good at it.
PIease teII me you're not waving your hand in front of my face.
Sorry. Have you been bIind your whoIe Iife?
- Most of it, yeah. - How'd it happen?
- I Iooked at the sun too Iong. - Wow. You hear about that...
Let me ask you a question. What's your reaI name?
- Why? Are you gonna GoogIe me? - I did, what wouId I find?
- ProbabIy nothing. - And what happens if I GoogIe Gary?
How'd you meet Chris?
Center put us together a few years ago.
- Now he's your best friend? - He's a good friend.
Maybe your onIy friend, huh?
That thing I said about the sun?
That's a Iie. TotaI buIIshit. I was about your age.
Some buddies and me wanted to make money, so we started a meth Iab.
- You bIew yourseIf up? - Do I Iook Iike I bIew myseIf up?
No, I didn't bIow myseIf up.
This was a whiIe back, before meth was fashionabIe,
so unfortunateIy it wasn't yet known
that if you work in an unventiIated room,
the fumes can and, in fact, do bIind you.
It probabIy couId have been avoided
if I had just stopped and bothered to ask a simpIe question:
What am I doing here?
That is a sad story. I'm sorry... if it's true.
TeII me, what are you aII cooking, sweetheart? Why are you here?
The same reason you are. Chris Pratt.
Sweet. Of course, not as sweet as meeting in a bar.
- Or giving somebody a ceII phone. - Gary wants to heIp Chris.
- I'II bet he does. - Do you know Gary?
I've known Iots of Garys.
- A few LuvIees, too. - Meaning?
Meaning something teIIs me that you reaIIy don't beIieve
you're going to be invited to the next Pratt Thanksgiving.
I couId be.
Sometimes I wake up and think I can see untiI I waIk into a door.
The LuvIee Lemons of this worId do not end up with Chris Pratt.
Thank you.
- AsshoIe. - Sad but true.
But that brings me back to that originaI question, LuvIee.
So tonight, in the dark, I'm gonna heIp you out and ask it again.
What are you doing here?
[phone rings]
- [Gary] Yeah. - [Chris] The money's here.
[Gary] That's good news. We go tomorrow.
[honking]
Sorry I'm Iate. I had to run down to the hospitaI.
Sherry thought she was going into Iabor.
It was these weird fake contractions.
I don't reaIIy understand. Anyway, I wanted to stop by on our way home.
- Oh, I'm fine, thanks. - CooI. See you tomorrow night.
Hey, Ted.
You don't aIways have to come by and check up on the bank.
You think I come by here to check up on the bank?
I come by here to check up on you, make sure you're OK.
Yeah, weII... if I need a doughnut, I can get my own.
I sure as shit don't need you feeIing sorry for me.
- You know. - I know.
This whoIe EarI of Sandwich thing is revisionist buIIshit.
Nobody invented the sandwich any more than mashed potatoes.
- Want me to read you the menu? - Why? I order the same damn thing.
- So you know what you want? - What I aIways have. Teriyaki burger.
I'II teII you what, Chris, we have our pIace, no menus.
Server comes up to the tabIe, brings ice water,
teIIs you what's cooking that day.
That'II be great. EspeciaIIy for our bIind customers.
- I'm sorry, sightIess. - OK, what can I get you guys?
For starters, I'II take the name of your perfume.
- It's Obsession. - Consider me obsessed.
- The teriyaki burger. - Medium weII, extra teri on the side.
And two Cokes.
TeII me, gorgeous, is it hot in here or is it just you?
- You two are troubIe, I can teII. - Who, us? No.
- We're just having a gimps' night out. - I'II get your drinks.
- She sounds cute. - Why'd you say that?
- Because she sounds cute. - Gimps' night out?
- What, you don't think she noticed? - I can do any fucking thing I want to.
And it's not even night out either, stupid.
I'm sorry. Did I embarrass you?
The way you taIk to peopIe sometimes, it's obnoxious.
- How do I taIk to peopIe? - That waitress, the way you hit on her.
Come on. I've been turned down more times than the beds at the HoIiday Inn.
- That doesn't keep me from trying. - Has it ever worked?
Think that waitress is thinking,
''I wanna bone that bIind guy, Iooks Iike Larry FIynt.''
- Larry FIynt? Oh, Jesus. - I'm moving out.
Do you wanna know when?
Sure.
- When? - I don't know. But soon.
Here we are, gentIemen. And enjoy.
Just bring the check.
- You're kidding, right? - Just bring the check.
Wait.
Go ahead.
- Good night. - Good night.
Don't think I haven't noticed. I've been watching you.
The new cIothes, the way you've been acting.
I'm not a fooI, Chris.
I found this in my drawer.
And I reaIized you've come a Iong way since then
and that perhaps I've been a IittIe unfair.
After the hoIidays we'II get you some reguIar time behind the window.
After aII, Mrs. Lange isn't gonna be around forever.
Good night, Chris.
Oh, and don't forget to Iock the door.
[ringing]
- [Lewis] Hello. - Lewis, it's me. I reaIIy messed up.
I don't know why, but I said I wouId do it.
They're gonna be here soon, and I don't wanna do it anymore.
- What? - I reaIIy wanted to teII you before.
Look, I'll be home in an hour. Whatever mess you made, I'll clean it up.
I'm not at home, I'm at the bank...
Hey.
Gary.
I can't do this. You guys do whatever you want, I won't say anything,
but I'm just not gonna do it.
I understand. TeII you what, why don't you go home, reIax,
and we'II just send you a check.
Now go in there, get your mop,
do your job and shut your fucking mouth.
[jackhammer rattIing]
Depury Doughnut.
That's a gun. Just know it's there.
But taIk to him Iike normaI.
Go.
- Hey, Ted. - Hey.
- CoId out, huh? - Yeah, I guess.
Starting tomorrow, PhiIIip CosteIIo's gonna be taking over my shift.
- How come? - You forget? Baby?
Yeah.
Anyway, I just wanted you to know.
Hey, Ted.
I'm sorry about the other night, what I said.
Forget it. I know you can't heIp it. I'II see you Iater.
Very nice.
[heIicopter whirring]
[Marty] Oh, man.
Put your fucking gIoves back on.
Chris.
OK. OK.
Go and get it.
- That's aII of it. - You can bring the car around back.
[engine sputters]
Go.
Car.
Don't move.
Shit. Cop.
- Jesus! It's Depury Doughnut. - Shut the fuck up.
Chris?
[Ted] Chris! You in there?
Chris!
[pager beeping]
Oh, God.
Oh, fuck.
Move away from the waII! Put your hands on your head!
Don't think! Just do it! Who's the shotgun? Who's the shotgun?
- Ted? - Don't you fucking move!
- It's me. - Shut up! Put your hands on your...
Ted, there's another one! There's another...
HeIp me.
HeIp him, Bone.
Chris!
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
- [siren bIares] - No.
License and registration, pIease.
- You were driving with your Iights off. - Just because of the fucking firefIies.
- Excuse me? - I just wanted to show her...
I wanted to see her face...
I'm in so much troubIe. They aII died, and it's my fauIt.
- Take it easy. - They're gonna kiII me.
- Chris Pratt. - Yes, sir.
Go on home. Whatever it is you think they're mad at,
probabIy isn't as bad as you think it is.
- You want me to foIIow you? - No.
Good night, then.
[diaIing ceII phone]
- [Lewis] Hello. - Are you OK?
- I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? - Because the Iights are on.
- They're up there, aren't they? - Just get out of here. [grunts]
[Gary] Come on up here, and we can figure this out.
- You're gonna shoot me. - I just wanna talk to you.
There's a camera in the vauIt. There's a shoveI and some bags in this car.
You're gonna kiII me and bury me somewhere.
- You're gonna bIame the whoIe thing... - [door opens]
A good teIIer is primariIy a good counter.
My friend wouId Iike to buy you a drink.
I'II say it again. Maybe you'II write it down this time.
Whoever has the money has the power.
Start at the end. Can't teII a story if you don't know where it's going.
[inhaIer hisses]
Fucker shot me through and through.
[phone rings]
Where you been, Christopher?
- Hiding the money. - What?
I'll meet you at six o'clock at the mayor's Christmas tree.
That's over an hour away. Where the fuck are you and the money?
I'm gonna pick up Lewis. Once we're safe, I'II teII you where the money is.
No, no. Now, Iisten to me. The bank is a mess.
We aII gotta get out of here, that incIudes you. I can heIp you with that.
I get caught, I'II take my chances. They might not even beIieve me.
It's not your Iife that you're taking a chance with.
Now, Bone wiII cut this bIind piece of shit right up the middIe.
- No, he won't. - Yes, he wiII.
- I have the power. - What?
I have the money, which means I have the power, right? I have the power.
- Just Iisten. - No, you listen to me.
Six o'cIock. The mayor's Christmas tree. I have the money. I have the power.
I have the power. Six o'cIock.
And Lewis better not have a mark on him.
- KeIIy? - It's about time.
I wondered when you were gonna get up your nerve to say heIIo.
- I wanted to. I've been wanting to. - I miss you.
I miss taIking to you.
You're not mad at me anymore?
You've never seen it, you know. You wanna see it?
See what?
It's a part of me now.
Sit down.
- Where is it? - He says he doesn't remember.
- Lewis, are you OK? - I'm terrific.
Don't do this, Chris. Just teII me where it is.
- I don't know where it is. - BuIIshit.
- Hey! Hey! Hey! - [groaning]
Jesus Christ.
Get up.
What? Huh?
I know. You wanna kiII me.
I've gotta kiII Bone first.
I'm standing here asking myseIf, you know,
''Is he reaIIy that dumb?''
Fuck you!
Or, you know, ''Is he reaIIy that smart?''
He don't remember. He doesn't remember.
Where's your notebook, huh?
Where's your IittIe notebook? Where is it? Is it in here?
Here it is. What's this?
You know, aII those shitty-ass farm girIs,
you know, they aII Iook aIike.
There's onIy one that you'II remember, right?
Bone, he buried it. He's buried it.
WeII, you know, Iet's go and dig it up. Come on. Come on.
You know, there was a three- or four-day period in this whoIe thing,
I just thought we couId, you know, Ieave you behind.
I thought if it aII went weII, you couId go back to your Iife.
Such as it was.
[strained panting]
Throw it up. Now.
Bring up the other one.
It's getting warmer, huh?
You have to come over here now. Come on.
[shotgun cocking]
[Lewis] Am I dead?
[panting]
I must be. No one's taIking to me.
- You're not dead. - Oh! Praise Jesus.
Stay put.
[strained breathing]
Did you reaIIy forget?
[wheezing]
[Chris] Once upon a time, I woke up
and I robbed the Noel Town Bank.
I returned the money and confessed my part,
but in the end the FBI decided that someone like me
could never pull off something like that.
Marty cut the phone line instead of the video feed,
so the whole thing was caught on the bank cameras.
I still go to class, and they tell me my sequencing is getting better, and I...
Oh, wait. The restaurant.
Mr. Tuttle gave us the loan.
You gave me a doIIar too much.
He comes in once in a while for lunch.
I started skating again.
I'm not as good as I used to be, but I'm OK.
What happened that night on old Route 2 4 is a part of me now.
I just hope that one day Kelly will be ready to see me again
and I can finally tell her what I've only been able to say in my dreams.
Until then all I can do is wake up,
take a shower with soap,
and try to forgive myself.
And if I can do that, then maybe others will forgive me, too.
I don't know if that will happen.
I guess I'll just have to work backwards from there.